Last night elder boy called me from his Pops house to catch me up on how the new school year was going and to shoot the shit in general. Due to the time difference and the fact that I have been battling with insomnia and a bad bout of allergies, I wasn’t as talkative as I normally am. However as always, Mama was listening.
Elder boy told me about the new “hot” girl in his town and how all his boys wanted to get with her, well elder boy happened to be at a party this weekend when said hot girl showed up and ended up chatting with her. Apparently she was indeed attractive and seemed to have a brain though she has Republican leanings, well elder boy being the kid I (and former spousal unit) raised him to be while he thought she was cute, was not as the kids say sweating her. So fast forward to the next day when hot girl apparently asked one of elder child’s boys was elder boy gay because he was not all over her like a cheap ass suit. Elder boy’s friend explained that elder boy’s style is not to sweat girls and that no he is not gay.
Now I got a laugh out if this because knowing my son and I am Mama so I know my child and he is not gay, though he is picky as hell about his females. Though on further thought it saddened me that today’s young women don’t even seem to know that its alright for a male to not wanna get in the drawers immediately but to get to know them as people. This summer I spent lots of time talking with elder boy and as he explained a pretty face doesn’t phase him, he likes girls who can think and carry a conversation. Don’t get me wrong, he likes cute girls but “cute” is not the only criteria he cares about, yet even amongst his friends, all they care about is a girl’s hotness. Yet girls are apparently buying into it too, since back when I was a young-in, I was actually pretty happy if a boy just wanted to know me without any expectations. Of course back then, the expectation of having sexual relations was not as easily assumed as it appears to be these days.
I know grown women talk alot about wanting decent men, but what happens when we are raising girls who turn into women who wouldn’t know good if it smacked them in the face. Of course as I spent the day browsing You Tube and watching old videos, I was reminded that once upon a time we were not bombarded with half naked women and sexual imagery that reduced women to being a lump of flesh.
It saddens me to think I have raised my son to be a gentleman yet being so is not valued or at the very least questioned. Thankfully elder child is happy to walk to his own drum so I hope he continues to so, but after last night I am reminded of the work I have ahead of me with mini-me. Chivalry is not dead and I think being a gentleman should never go out of style. Yet teenage girls who expect that a boy being interested in them means a boy who wants to hop in the sack immediately become women who wonders where the good men. Self respect starts early.