Life without Weight Watchers

I figured I would write a brief post on how life is going since I officially said good bye to Weight Watchers. If you are a regular reader of my blog you may recall I did a post not too long ago where I mentioned that despite being a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers I was thinking of calling it quits. I read Geneen Roth’s Women, Food, and God and it truly resonated with me. Despite having been with Weight Watchers for years frankly I have often felt their program brought out tendencies in me that are just not good. I am almost 40 and frankly I don’t want to live my life always writing down or inputting what I eat on any given day, I am tired of counting points. The changes to Weight Watcher’s program recently were the initial kick in the ass I needed and after reading Roth’s book I really felt much stronger. I also figured worse case I can always go back to Weight Watchers if I fall flat on my ass.

So I made in through the holiday season with no weight gain. I admit I had hoped for a bit of a loss but knowing that I have not been moving nearly as much as I could, that was probably too much to hope for. However making it through a month long period where my holiday baking included Paula Deen’s Red Velvet Cake, Pecan Pies and Cinnamon rolls, let’s face it to gain no weight is a good thing.

It means I am still roughly 13 pounds or so above my “goal” weight yet I am starting to think this place may be the weight my body likes to live at. See, when I first started gaining weight years ago, this weight was eventually where I came to rest for year. It was my pregnancy and  postpartum period that took my body to a place that was truly unhealthy. I knew it was unhealthy when walking became difficult for me and yeah my vain side didn’t exactly like the way my face started to resemble a chipmunk. This weight is also the same place where on Weight Watchers I spent about 6 months after dropping 20+ lbs but still had more to go until I could reach my goal. When I was actively on Weight Watchers striving to get to goal, I basically started living off fruits and veggies primarily to get the numbers on the scale to move downward. I share this to say that I do think for some of us our bodies have a place they are comfortable at.

Right now my goal is simply to start moving more, I strive daily to put a decent share of fruits and veggies in my body and of course the water. But I enjoy food and I want to have a healthy relationship with it and I see more movement which in general increases my mental well being as the key. Not a weekly meeting and not what was almost obsessive behavior over what I was eating. Interestingly this past month during my menstrual cycle, a time where generally I give into whatever cravings I have, I had very few and didn’t see the normal 2-3 lbs period gain that I have had for years.  Now that I am no longer holding myself back, it seems there is no reason to play the food games with myself…if I want  Cheetos, I will have some. No reason needed.

So life is going good without Weight Watchers!

Creeping up

Looks like a gorgeous day here in Maine. I woke up early with plans to attend my Friday yoga class but my body decided to tell me that, that might be a bad idea. Instead I have time to blog , prepare for a meeting this morning and think about how my weight is creeping up again.

The past month, I have been in a funk. All this talk of financial woes has me in a bad a mood and when I get in a bad mood, my default for dealing with stress is to stuff my mouth. I have done well the past year as far as maintaining my almost 50 pound weight loss, until this month I have stayed several pounds under my weight goal. Even now I am still under that number but dangerously close to it and not comfortable with it at all.

Its funny because I have not set out to just stuff my mouth but looking back this month, I have barely ate my usual breakfast of oatmeal. I must confess I hate oatmeal, for almost the past 4 years oatmeal is generally what I eat most mornings. Its a good meal because unlike cold cereal it tends to keep me full and doesn’t have a ton of calories. Problem is there are only so many ways to eat it and after all this time it has started to taste like gruel, but whenever I don’t eat it in the morning, I find myself snacking mid-morning. The only way that does not happen is if I eat a large breakfast but too many mornings of bacon and pancakes or breakfast burritos also seems to add on the weight. Of course the cinnamon rolls I have been getting from the new fabulous bakery down the street from my office aren’t helping either.

Funny thing about weight creeping up is it happens so slowly that at first you don’t notice it. I mean what’s an extra 2-3 lbs? Of course that was the road that led me to gaining weight several years ago. I spent most of my life without a weight problem and when I quit smoking the first time, my new habit became eating…very stereotypical when it comes to not smoking.

Anyway now that the scale has confirmed that indeed my weight is creeping up (I thought my pants had shrunk at first….I know, nice try) its time to work my plan. That means back to a daily exercise routine or at least a daily walk and stopping my new found chip habit. At any given time we have several cases of snack chips in my office so I have been partaking which is really a bad idea.

So Happy Friday to everyone, hopefully the weather will hold up and allow me to get out and start walking again. Of course I will need to walk right past that baker at the Farmers Market in the morning and not buy any of her lovely treats. Though maybe if I walk around in enough circles I can burn off the calories that would be added if I bought one of those amazing Sour Cream Blueberry Coffeecakes!

Very very sneaky

The past couple weeks have just been crazy for me, between being caught up in the election, I have been swamped with work at the same time I am preparing to start the new job. Needless to say I have been a little lax in one area of my life…..watching my weight.

Now I made lifetime on Weight Watchers back in the spring and while it was great to no longer have to pay to weigh in and know that I met a goal, the real work was only just starting. Turns out its a lot harder to maintain one’s weight than it is to lose weight, initially I kept losing, so I had to increase my intake, but then finding a comfy place to be weight wise, its been a interesting process to say the least.

I made it through the summer, not gaining, realizing that I couldn’t do my usual summer fest of ice cream. Don’t get me wrong, I had some ice cream but instead of my usual hot fudge sundae with 3 scoops of homemade ice cream, I instead opted for a single scoop. For the most part it felt good and I didn’t feel deprived. One thing I have learned is that the moment you feel deprived, all bets are off, you will start eating any and everything.

Which leads me to my current dilemma, the past few weeks I have been enjoying a daily Signature Hot Chocolate from Starbucks, these drinks are lethal. SO very fucking good, like sex in a cup. However a couple days ago I got on the scale and was like whoa….I am up about 2 pounds, now 2 pounds is not a huge deal but at the same time, I haven’t been doing anything different other than drinking these drinks.

So today, I went over to the Starbucks web site and looked up the calorie content, seems my little drink is 540 calories compared to my usual Misto which is only 110 calories and even with the shots of mocha I have added it doesn’t top 200 calories. Yeah, guess them drinks is a little too good, since unlike sex I am not burning off anything but only adding to the waistline.

See, Starbucks is a sneaky bastard, their drip coffee sucks balls, shit is too burnt tasting, yet their other drinks are the ones that hook you in, frappacino’s in the summer, hot chocolates and speciality lattes in the cold weather months. Next thing you know, you are asking yourself why are your pants getting tight when you haven’t been eating anything extra. Its the drinks, laden with calories and addictive as hell.

So, I kick off the weekend with a goalto only drink one hot chocolate a week from Starbucks, the rest of the week I will drink hot tea at home or stick to the Misto when I am out. I am reminded that when I lost my gig last year it was the best thing for my weight goals as I stopped eating out most of the time and when you cook at home, you control your caloric intake. However we all still need the occasional splurge.

Have a good weekend!